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Just kidding. However, I have a huge crush on this girl and I barely know her name.
Read once you stop cringing and spitting on your computer screen:
Had her in my class a few years ago, and she probably doesn't remember me. Anyways, how does one go about starting a relationship with someone you barely know?
You should try talking to her and becoming friends. Try not to act like a douche.
u punch her. then drag her body home then when done dispose of properly. like a trash can
Sometimes its hard.Quote:
Originally Posted by saltyseedog
http://vicorientation.ca/site/wp-con...ndHereWeGo.gifQuote:
Originally Posted by funnky
Introduce yourself, ask her name, and ask about her interests. A good icebreaker, and a way to tell if a girl is worth pursuing, is to say "How do you feel about Twilight?"
I had the similar situation few years ago.
I was seeing this girl only at my college, and only on Thursdays. She was always surrounded with some friends.
So, after 2 Thursdays she was actually alone for about 1 millisecond :D I used that time to introduce myself and ask her out.
Make your speech short, talk politely and clearly.
Don't be afraid, even if she says "No" (which I doubt), she wont think anything bad or less about you.
Because in the world of Facebook, e-mails, forums, mobile phones girls actually like when someone has the courage to approach them personally.
And remember that people always regret the things they didn't do then the things they did do :)
Good luck!
1. Step one, introduce yourself , break the ice
2. Step two, ask her some questions
3. Step three, how is she responding? does she ask you questions back or are you always trying to keep the conversation going?
4. If she keeps the conversation going, try to get her number or organize to meet up again (if she isn't asking you questions, give up)
5. Get a friendship going, try to talk more with her, see if you can hang out more with her
6. Make some light sexual jokes, flirt with her
7. how does she respond? if she goes "ewwwwww gross" its generally a bad sign (she just wants to be friends). If she just smiles or something then its a good sign (she doesn't want to say your attractive, but she doesn't want to fob you off)
8. Keep this up for a while, see how things go
9. Ask her out
It all takes time and patience (can take a few months)
Good luck :)
Step 1 for giving advice) spell a basic word wrongly in step 1, basically invalidating everything else you're about to say.
damm............Quote:
Originally Posted by Dianeva
Say something crazy. Shock her. But in a good way. Then introduce yourself.
You could always use the earlier bond, albeit weak, as your advantage. Go to talk with her and say something in line : "Hey I think we had the same class.. blah.. blah.. chatty chat"
I am awful at giving advice over these things. It is kind of like you had to teach another people to walk the way you walk.
"Hey bitch. Janitor's closet. After school. Wear so much as a thong and you'll be sorry."
I am good at being crazy...Quote:
Originally Posted by Xox
I'm not sure my chances are too good at recruiting a girl to go out with me by just walking up and saying "Hey I'm Dave, remember we had that Spanish class in 9th grade? Wanna go out somewhere?Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivan452
Try not to be a douche.
Don't act desperate.
Don't creep her out. I mean in a bad way.
You have no idea how awesome you are.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dianeva
thats almost as good as my post lolQuote:
Originally Posted by GavinGill
Whatever you do, don't immediately ask the girl out. For some girls that might work (it's effective mostly in the bar setting where everyone there is likely to be strangers looking to get laid) but a lot of girls (sane ones) prefer to be somewhat familiar with a person first. So it's important that you ease yourself in with small-talk and conversations about your interests.
If you're in school, and you happen to run into her on a regular basis, you could ask her if she'd be interested in joining you for a casual lunch on campus or something.
Asking if you could trade AIM screennames, email addresses, friend each other on Facebook, etc. wouldn't be too forward, and would give you further opportunities to get to know one another.
This doesn't always work. One girl I did this with all the time and she did it with me too and we'd laugh. She wasn't interested.Quote:
Originally Posted by AustralianFire
If a guy did that to me I'd be creeped out, frankly.
Depends if she is laughing with you or at you. The latter has rarely promise of sexual rewards.
Some girls laugh when they're uncomfortable, also.
True, but that is usually easy to discern from real laughter. At least, I think so. Usually it is quite simple to see if person is in to you, it is in the atmosphere, you can just sense it.
Some people have a harder time with this than others, though, so I try to offer advice assuming they're not good at sensing emotions or reading between the lines. It's best to find ways to handle situations that are basically fool-proof, and don't have as much potential to become disastrous.
What? Flirted with you? Or were you not replying to me?Quote:
Originally Posted by Squishdiboo
Again not sure if any of these were regarding my post. But she was laughing with me. As I said, we both did it. But contrary to what australianfire seems to think, it doesQuote:
Originally Posted by Unelias
not mean she is interested in you.
If a guy who I was just getting to know suddenly started making sexual jokes, and I could sense he was basically just trying to get a feel for whether or not I want to date him or whatever, I'd be really bothered.
I don't have a problem with sexual jokes in general, it's really a matter of how casual the relationship is, and who it is making the joke.
Some guys just cannot pull this off without coming off as creeps, even accidentally, so I think it's terrible advice to suggest that they give it a try, especially to test a girl to see if she's interested. I would assume if someone is asking people on the Internet for advice on the matter, they're not particularly practiced in interacting with girls, so they'd probably not be experts at judging what's appropriate. If starting a relationship with this girl is important to the OP I think he should try not to do anything that might scare her off.
Making jokes like this may work out for some people, but it won't work for everyone. There are too many unknown variables to put your confidence in it.
This was just a response with regards to the idea of making sexual jokes and flirting with a new girl, not aimed at you specifically, tommo.
You're probably correct. One should have confidence first also.
|:<
Spoiler for How to hook up with hot chicks:
I prefer a more direct approach, such as:
"Hi! Nice shoes, wanna f*ck?"
How often does that work?Quote:
Originally Posted by anderj101
Dave, you confused everybody with your title!! :lol:
I once knew a bartender who said his approach was to just walk up to a girl and put his hand on her ass. He said that way he's either gonna get laid or slapped, but either way he knows right away. If all a person is looking for is to get laid, there's a certain admirable simplicity to this approach. :cheeky:
When you talk. Look them in the eyes. But don't give them a bad look. Or a perverted creepy look. Just an understanding kind look. And when they talk. Listen..... like really listen
Just get a giant paper area map, unfold it, and put your penis on top of it and go around asking for directions, pointing to places right next to your penis.
Sexual harassment suit?Quote:
Originally Posted by Darkmatters
Listen kid, never kid.Quote:
Originally Posted by dave1701
Just kidding :)
Pretty sure that kind of puritanical harassment only applies in the workplace. You wouldn't get sued for touching a girls ass in a club.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squishdiboo
Bah! I'm not big on the "sexual jokes" thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squishdiboo
Huh?Quote:
Originally Posted by Darkmatters
Every time. ...but, I only ever use it on someone I've known for long enough to get away with such a thing. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by dave1701
Might get your ass kicked, though.Quote:
Originally Posted by tommo
The title makes it sound like you just wanna get laid, but then the thread's about all this touchy/feely romantic stuff. So you're getting some oddly mixed answers.Quote:
Originally Posted by dave1701
When I say to tell sexual jokes, That's like after you've gotten past the stage where you wouldn't be considered a freak for telling them. If she tells sexual jokes back, you may have gotten somewhere. Also another thing i forget to mention, share secrets with her. You need to build up trust, after all, your partner is meant to be one of the most closest people in your life. If she shares secrets with you, you may have also gotten somewhere.
This method has worked twice for me, out of two times :)
Again, I thought that was the case too. It doesn't always mean you're in.Quote:
Originally Posted by AustralianFire
Just refer to the "Pleasing Women" manual and follow each step in order. It's a sure-fire WIN!
http://www.xjimx.com/dreamviews/Misc...ng_A_Woman.jpg
All that touchy feely crap is borne out of emotional desperation and fear of lonliness. Women aren't interested in real romance. Truthfully, what a woman likes and what she finds attractive are not the same thing. You want to be somebody's boyfriend, don't be their lapdog. Women are attracted to firm confidence, a man who knows who he is and doesn't need anyone to help him figure it out. Sensitive men have a harder time at this because they actually care what the woman thinks of them. This is foolish. Be courteous, obviously, but depend on no one for your own self-assurance. If you want to choose your spouse out of a handful of fine options, drop your balls and let them hang. If you want to cling to the one bitch nice enough to give you her number that one time, keep thinking about things "romantically."Quote:
Originally Posted by Darkmatters
Very un-PC, but it has the harsh ring of truth. Take it from the guy girls would cry to about how badly their boyfriends treat them.
If a mod wants to change the word Bitch then go for it but I'm just trying to talk some sense into these kids before they walk down the same road I did, thinking you could some how please a woman or earn her love. Women are attracted to that which retreats from them. Women are so insecure they need a guy who's secure and self-assured enough for them to follow. But sensitive guys are always repulsing them by refusing to take the lead. Why? Because they get that sensation of resistance and they turn into cowards. They put too much weight on the girl in front of them as if soul-mates were a scientific law. The fact is, your chances are greater at being with a total stranger than with a girl you faltered in front of.Quote:
Originally Posted by Darkmatters
Keep in mind there's a difference between confidence and being a jerk. Don't start treating women like crap just because somebody told you that they like it. Any girl you get that way probably doesn't deserve to be respected, and probably isn't worth pursuing, unless you are literally just looking to get laid.
Also, confidence isn't really a choice so much as something you either have or you don't - or I guess it's fair to say we all have different levels of it. There are some guys who might be right on the borderline and can step up without trying to be somebody they're not, but most of us either have that kind of confidence or we don't.
**EDIT**
Crap. This just made me remember - a couple years ago I read a bunch of books by Carl Sagan, and in one of them there was this section about testosterone as studied in rats. This is sort of common sense, but incredibly enlightening to see it backed up by scientific studies. I'll paraphrase as well as I can remember it:
Male rats with low testosterone were much smarter than those with high testosterone, and were also able to cooperate well with others in tests designed to evaluate group cooperation, where none of them get food unless they all do their part. When a rat with high testosterone was admitted into the group the whole group dynamics change instantly. The alpha rat would engage in typical slacker behavior - refusing to do his part and even going around intimidating all the beta rats until they froze in place and stopped doing anything. Then he'd go around and sex up all the females. These groups never completed the cooperation tasks. If several alpha rats were included, predictably it would just be fighting all the time. Beta males are able to mate if there are no alphas in the group, but if one is present, they aren't. The alphas spend all their time ensuring their position of authority and fighting all challengers.
Interesting thing about testosterone, and this took me completely by surprise - a young rat can be stopped from producing it in sufficient amounts if he's intimidated enough, usually by the mother. once this happens his testosterone production is permanently lowered.
Other rats, male and female, are able to detect levels of testosterone through subtle clues, probably mostly smell and visual indicators like stance and aggressiveness etc, and always treat a rat according to the actual level he has.
As Sagan wrote repeatedly (and ironically) throughout the article - thank god people are not rats.
Most people are rats.
squee squee
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darkmatters
Lol, I think that was the point, no?Quote:
Originally Posted by Xaqaria
You could basically replace rat with human in darkmatters' post and it would still be just as true.
That's a great study though. I love those sorts of things.
I never knew about that testosterone being lowered by being intimidated when young though. Very interesting!
You cannot flip a confidence switch inside you and suddenly be more confident. This is true. But you can become more confident by facing your fear of shame and desensitizing yourself to being a focal point of attention. In other words practice. Anything you read about how to pick up chicks will tell you the same thing: Rule 1 is to start picking them up even if you don't know shit. Try and fail and try again.Quote:
Originally Posted by Darkmatters
To me it doesn't have much to do with testosterone, there's another chemical in the brain that makes you cautious and they've linked the deficiency of this chemical with people's likelihood to be outgoing. Young people have less than old people, men less than women, adrenaline junkies have a lot less than people that cant even ride roller coasters. This chemical directly effects your ability to enjoy frightening situations because if there's too much, there's an overload and you become too stressed or anxious to enjoy it.
I see sensitivity being the deciding factor out the gate. I don't see sensitivity to be related to testosterone so much as just emotional development. I mean there's probably a link, I'm sure testosterone has an effect on this whole process, but I see sensitive guys who are not cowards or even slightly skinnier or more passive than the next guy, just more emotionally intelligent and in tune with people, able to read their reactions. For a girl this kind of sensitivity doesn't stop you from getting laid because guys aren't testing your reactions for confidence. For a guy, this can be a deal breaker. That's why jerks do better than nice guys. They don't have to work in order to become self-assured because they never gave a fuck what you thought to being with.
You're allowed to be a nice guy and be confident. In fact otherwise you're not helping yourself, true confidence is genuine. Women are most attracted to you when you are your genuine self, unfaltered by her feelings towards you. And she will check to see if she can falter you. It's part of the mating ritual.
I love roller coasters and "scary" rides, and any type of adrenaline things. I even just got a motorbike.Quote:
Originally Posted by Omnis Dei
I'm not outgoing at all.
So yeah I think the second part of your post is accurate. Testosterone probably plays a part too. Along with many other chemicals and life experiences.
Maybe I just got used to scary stuff for example. Coz I remember one time, it's too complicated to explain, but I pussied out of something that was scary; kept trying to
make sure I wasn't going to get hurt, which directly ended up making me get hurt.
So I supposed that could have made me just sort of "go with it". Not sure.
And the last part is definitely spot on. It's not about just being confident, because being yourself, and being okay with that, is confidence in itself.
So there's no point being more "alpha" coz it is contrary to the point. Fuck it you said it better lol
"You're allowed to be a nice guy and be confident. In fact otherwise you're not helping yourself"
EDIT:
Just googled, is that chemical serotonin? Wow, didn't know it did that.
To be honest, I want the touchy-feely romantic stuff almost as much as I want to get laid.Quote:
Originally Posted by Darkmatters
Thanks for the help with that one. I don't like to read.Quote:
Originally Posted by tommo
There is one major difference between humans and rats - or maybe it's more of a minor difference.
Some of the things rats actually do humans only do metaphorically. Example, when an alpha male (human) walks in the room he usually doesn't actually physically go around and fuck all the women. But sometimes he does want to make it clear that he could.
Imagine if you will... a group of WoW friends (world of warcraft) decided to hit iHop for half price day. Suddenly in strolls Colin Farrell. I doubt any of the girls would actually dump their boyfriends then and there, but cheeks will flush, eyes will sparkle, and hushed excited whispers will circulate. It's exactly the same as when a really hot girl walks in a room - the guys all look and the girls all get huffy and start saying "She's not so hot...". This is chemical. And in the case of the males it's testosterone.
I'm not saying I disagree with what you said - I need to look into this serotonin thing. I know you're right about confidence being key, even for the betas and gammas, but it's testosterone that really chemically excites females, in spite of what they may say. Body language, subtle facial expressions and breathing patterns speak louder than words, which often lie.
Of course usually this is just a passing thing... as soon as Colin stalks out the door and kicks his Harley to life and roars off into the sunset pulses will return slowly to normal and that look of sheer excitement that the WoW guys have never seen on their girl's faces before will gradually fade. And eventually the unaknowleged chemical betrayals will be forgotten.
Luckily in some respects people really AREN'T rats! :shadewink:
Oh, and I need to check on that one thing - now I'm not sure if it was intimidation at an early age or not enough attention and physical contact by the mother that cuts off testosterone production.
why are you interested in her? because she's hot?Quote:
Originally Posted by dave1701
tisk tisk.
http://thefutureisidol.files.wordpre...uch1.gif?w=480Quote:
Originally Posted by Dianeva
:paranoid:Quote:
Originally Posted by Squishdiboo
hehe, that's not me......not at all....
...
Hey, where'd you get the Gif of ForCeez? :shadewink:
You suggest that most of the wow players are not as manly as Colin Farrel? :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Darkmatters
It is true, though, chemicals really mess up our system most of the time. Combine with alchohol and you get feelings that you are denying first thing in the morning.
Dude, you're like so totally awesome. Like... omg.Quote:
Originally Posted by Darkmatters
Just be glad I refrained from mentioning dampened seats... Yeah, there woulda been a riot up in here...
Ok, I got this feeling like I've been posting really cheesy inappropriate stuff all day and suddenly all the shame and embarrassment I've been holding back is crashing in on me. Time for beddy-bye!! :offtobed:
I'll be back tomorrow to face the music for what I've done today in my weird manic caffeine rush.
I'm usually looking, too, and I don't get all mad about the guy looking. Does this mean I have a lot of testosterone?Quote:
Originally Posted by Darkmatters
I'm not sure about the testosterone but as for the bolded:Quote:
Originally Posted by Squishdiboo
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqw5pkAzWw1qez8h0.gif
Yea, but in a subtler sort of way. She's hot, but she's not smoking hot. Call me strange, but the sound of the voice of women really does it for me. She has the prettiest voice I have ever heard. Plus, like I said, I knew her a bit a few years back, as far as I know, she has a nice personality. But then again I don't know that much.Quote:
Originally Posted by Erii
Voice is a great contributer to the sexiness. I have also very "strange" things that make me interested in people. It basically can be anything that strikes me, but I obviously have some general weak points against women. Eye are always the best, jebas save me if they are brown or green, I am doomed. Voice and the way of talking. Use of words. Certain freckle patterns.. postures and mannerisms.. All kinds of things.
You can easily love anyone as long as you don't know them well enough :PQuote:
But then again I don't know that much.
So true.Quote:
Originally Posted by Unelias
It's sort of like loving a fictional character, though.
So so true.Quote:
Originally Posted by Unelias
I love green eyes too.
dingdingdingQuote:
Originally Posted by Squishdiboo
The important thing in a relationship is rapport. I mean, there's nothing wrong with going after a girl because you're attracted to her - hell that's how it starts. But it's about how well you mesh. If you always seem to be on different wavelengths then put her in the spank bank and walk away.